明日への brilliant road

陰陽道と安倍晴明

2008-05-04T22:39:00.000-04:00

「陰陽道」と言う宗教はちょっと難しいが、漢字が分かったら、言葉も分かると思う。陰陽道のオンは中国語のyinで、ミョウは中国語のyangである。だから、陰陽道と言うのはyinとyangの道と言う宗教である。この宗教はもちろん道教から来たが、日本の古代には、いろいろな宗教があるコンセプトがなかったから、仏教が日本に入った時、神道と仏教が絡み合ってしまった。（日本に入る前に、中国で仏教と道教も絡み合ってしまった。）こう言う風に、陰陽道は神道、道教、仏教の所産であった。

さらに、陰陽道は宗教が、古代の理科の様相もあった。今、理科ではないが、陰陽道の一番大切なことは占い、悪霊払いなどだ。平安時代は迷信家が多いだったから、占いは本当に大切だった。でも、他の理科の様相があった。例えば、陰陽師は天文学を始めた。

陰陽道の中のとても有名な人がいた。「大陰陽師」と呼ばれた、彼の名前は「安倍晴明」であった。この人はよく古い物語に入っていた。例えば、今昔物語によると、安倍晴明は子供の時から鬼、妖怪を見ることがでた。同じ物語には、晴明が仏教の僧侶に「陰陽道を使って、人を殺すことできるの？」と聞かれた。晴明はその能力があったが、人を殺すことは罪だから人の代わりに、絶対に触れないでカエルを殺した。呪文を言って、植物から葉をとって、カエルに投げ付けた。その葉がカエルに触れた時、カエルがぺちゃんこになってしまった。

宇治拾遺物語によると、同じ晴明は藤原道長の命を助けた。毎日、道長は作ったお寺に行ったが、ある日、道長の白い犬が寺に彼を入らせないようになった。彼はどうしたらいいか分からなくて、晴明が呼ばれた。晴明はすこし占った後で、お寺の入門の下の土に呪術された物が埋め込んだ。道長が分からなかったが、犬が絶対に主殺しをふせぐように犬が彼に入らせられなかった。晴明が土から呪術された物を掘り出した後で、道長はお寺に入ることできて、犬はほめられた。

現代、陰陽道も安倍晴明も本当に人気がある。1988年に、夢枕獏と言う有名な小説家が安倍晴明についてシリーズを書き始めた。それから、陰陽師も晴明もたくさん漫画、小説、映画、テレビドラマなどに入ってきた。漫画と小説を数えれば、きっと二、三百以上ある。
でも、これはどういう意味であるか。陰陽道の人気が急に高くなったのはいろいろな理由があるかもしれない。一つ目はテクノロジーがあり過ぎる世界の人の人生は普通過ぎると思うから、日本人はもっと魔法、ファンタジーなどの様相が好きになった。二つ目は日本人は陰陽道の様相を再生している。例えば、現代に陰陽道の占い方は人気もある。そして、他の宗教のとおりに、陰陽道は理科が答えられない質問に答えられるが、違う答えがある。本当の理由が分からないが、「晴明ブーム」は今二十年間にも続いているから、必ず大事な理由があるかもしれない。

陰陽道と修験道の違い

2008-04-07T11:55:00.004-04:00

先生はちょっと分からなかったら、私が分かりやすいに説明する。陰陽道と修験道は同じぐらい時間にあったが、本当に違いがある。その二つはもちろんいろいろのアジアの宗教を交えるが、陰陽道の方は道教が一番大切で、修験道の方は密教（仏教）が一番大切だ。それは多分一番大切の違いだ。その二つの宗教は同じ道教、密教、神道などを交えたが、要素が違うから本当に違う宗教がなった。

そして陰陽道について大事なやることは天文、暦、占いなどことだ。修験道は山に生きて（だから、山伏と言う）、教の経を言って、仏になるつもりだった。そして、宗教の伝説には、違う人が立った。陰陽道の方はもちろん安倍晴明、修験道の方は役行者だ。

プロジェクト

2008-03-31T11:23:00.002-04:00

音楽: X-JAPANの「I.V.」
本: ピータ・ビーガルの「最後の一角獣」

プロジェクトはもう少し考えていた。陰陽道は現代の日本人に何の意味があるか。陰陽道は昔々のことだが、まだ今の日常的な生活に幅が利くかもしれない。たとえば、この理科がまだ全部が分からない世界に、人は理科が答えられない質問を答えてみる。アメリカでも同じだけど、陰陽道があまりないから、他の宗教か迷信など幅が利く。

でも、日本人について、陰陽道が多分このような質問が答えられる。例えば、もし迷信家が道に歩いて何か悪いことがする。陰陽道によって、その場合には悪い神がその道の近くにあるから、帰る時、他の方(direction)を使う方がいい。陰陽道が奥伝のことから、日本の迷信家は多分理科が答えられない質問を答え見るとき、陰陽道とか修験道とか他の密教か迷信がよく幅が利ている。

日本人があまり知らない日本音楽

2008-03-24T11:09:00.004-04:00

音楽: 坂本真綾の「へミソフィア」
本: ピータ・ビーガルの「最後の一角獣」

高校のとき、私は日本の音楽が好きになっていた。でも、一番目聞いたバンドはちょっと人気ではなかった。その「TWO-MIX」と言った。普通のバンドと思ったが、本当に曲に強い気持ちが入っているから、ちょっとびっくりした。例えば、「White Reflection」と言うな曲には、歌手の高山みなみ（ちょっと有名な声優、例えば「名探偵コナン」のコナン君）の声に本当の強さがあると思う。私に、世界を変わりたい気持ちだ。

その後で、同じような気持ちが日本音楽に見付けたが、いつも普通の日本人が全然わからない。次は「angela」と言うバンドの「明日へのbrilliant road」（はい。この曲から私のブログが題した。）この歌も強い情熱や気持ちが入っていた。だから、そのような曲が好きになった。

今、たくさんがある。「ICEMAN」や、「デーモン小暮閣下」や、「TO DESTINATION」．．．でも、いつも日本人が全然知らない。私が「浜崎あゆみ」か「宇多田ヒカル」について書いたら、皆が分かるが、実は（私の意見に）その歌手はこのような曲を作るのは珍しいよ。でも、「X JAPAN」はいつもこのような曲が作って、普通の日本人に人気が絶対あるかもしれない。面白いだろうな。

プロジェクトについて考えること

2008-03-09T23:55:00.002-04:00

音楽：　Ali Projectの「コッペリアの棺」
本：　（まだ）ウンベルト・エコの「フーコーの振り子」

プロジェクトについて、テーマは多分安倍晴明だけレポートするつもりだ。陰陽道はちょっと難しいから、ベーシックなことしか分かりやすくならないと思う。（例えば、陰陽、太極、五行など．．．）そして最近、英語で訳した「今昔物語集」と「宇治周囲物語」を見付けたから、そこに入っている晴明の物語を語ろうと思っている。もしプロジェックターを使ったら、レポートを読む時、パッワーポイントで写真も図もつかう。それは本当に楽しそう。休みで、家から晴明のことを持つつもりだ。

仕事の研究

2008-03-03T10:17:00.002-05:00

音楽：　デーモン小暮閣下の「A View From the Other Side of the Celestial City」
本：　（まだ）ウンベルト・エコの「フーコーの振り子」

私について、三つの仕事があったんだ。ロチェスター大学でITSと言うコンピューター・ラブで四年間働いた。それはいい仕事けど、学生のラブから、全然閉まったから、私は二、三回午前十二時から午前八時まで働いた。ラブだったから、コンピュータのテック二カル・サッポットをした。その後で、コランビア大学院に入らなかった、私が高校でスペイン語を教える先生の仕事をした。その仕事のお金はよかったが、パブリックとインナ・シーティの高校だから、教えた子供はたいてい悪かった。でも、いい学生もいたからよかった。今でも、そのいい学生とまだ話すことがある。今、私はコロンビア大学のバトラー図書館の「古書旧稿図書館」に勤めている。一周二十時間ぐらい働くから、仕事は図書館の秘密をだんだん教えている。仕事から、エドガー・アレン・ポーの古いマントルピースを触れて、五百年前に作った本も触れて、シェックスピーアのファスト・フォリオに読んで、コデックス・セラフィニアヌスを読んだことがあった。よかったから、私は二年働き、PhDの勉強に入れば、そこで働き続けると思います。

本当のプロジェクト

2008-02-23T17:15:00.001-05:00

私がこの前に書いたポストは間違えた。日本語のクラスのプロジェクトは少し陰陽道と安倍晴明の通論だ。このようのことはちょっと専門科目だが、私が英語で説明できるから、日本語で分かり安い説明もできる。それは私の研究だから、日本語のクラスのプロジェクトで話すことがいいと思う。でも、黒板で難しい漢字を書くのは大切かもしれない。例えば、「陰陽」、「道教」の漢字を書く後で、ちょっと分かりやすくなると思う。

私のプロジェクト.........................と言うこと

2008-02-18T00:08:00.005-05:00

音楽：　青木美稚子、大野徹也、黒田博の「愛の誓い」
本：　高原豊明の「安倍晴明伝説」

（前のポストで、私のプロジェクトを書けたから、このポストで、新しいアングルから同じを書こう。）

私のプロジェクトは毎日難しくなっている旅である。この頃、川に泳ぐの感じる。「星昴流」と言う源流を始めて川は安倍晴明と陰陽道に流れていた。でも、読解の難しさが高いから、カナヅチのように感じる。然斯、たくさん新しい情報が集めている。例えば、安倍晴明は摂津国から賀茂家の弟子であって、役小角（えんのおずぬ）は賀茂家の末裔であって、若者に摂津国の箕面来たことがあった。（今、修験道のクラスのため、役小角を勉強している。）安倍晴明と役小角はすばらしい伝説的魔法術師であったが、この情報を使って、リンクがあるかもしれない。

そして他の役小角について情報が見つけた。日本書紀によって、699に、彼に遠流されたが、その前、日本霊異記について、孔雀明王経を使って、魔術を使った。問題は808に空海が中国から孔雀明王経を持って来た。民俗学者のみんなは孔雀明王経がまだ日本に来なかったと思っているが、その場合には、どうしてそのクロニックルは孔雀明王経の名前が分かるか？日本霊異記の書くのは奈良時代の最後から平安時代の最初ぐらい概算した。だから、二つの答えがある。一つ目は日本霊異記が絶対に808の後で書いた。二つ目（私の意見）は空海の前に、孔雀明王経が日本に来た。面白い話だろう？こんなような情報はいつも私のプロジェクトに流れている。

でも、まだやらなければならないことがある。だから、今のプロジェクトはクラスの宿題、エッセイを一生懸命して、テストを頑張れ、日本語読解を練習することである。このプロジェクトを絶対する日、安倍晴明と陰陽道の真のプロジェクトを初め露ことできる。

妖星乱舞

2008-02-10T22:03:00.000-05:00

音楽：　m.o.v.eの¡WAKE YOUR LOVE!
本：　ウンベルト・エコの「フーコーの振り子」（まだ）

大学の時、私はアニメが分かるために日本語を習いたかったなんだが、「X」と言うな新しいアニメのシリーズを見てみた、もっと大事な真実が見つけてよかった。いや、フラッシュバック。高校の時、アメリカのアニメ・ブームの前。アマンダと言う友達が英語に訳した「X／１９９９」と言う漫画があった。見させた後で、丁と言う人物の名前もイメージが思いでに焼き付けた。漫画を買ったことがなかったが、古い映画屋さんでX／１９９９の映画を見つけて買った。映画のストーリは早すぎるしたが、人物もテーマが大好きだった。世界の終末、約束の日。フラッシュフォワード。「X」のシリーズは映画より面白くてよかった。このシリーズにも、丁と同じ人物が登場したが、こんな時、他の人物が大好きだった。彼は皇昴流（すめらぎ・すばる）と言う陰陽師だった。

Xを見てすぎた後で、昴流のストーリを書きたかったが、インターネットで、陰陽師について資料がいっぱいあったが、英語に訳すことができなかったから、ストーリが全然書きなかった。インターネットで調べる時、「陰陽師」と言う映画を見つけた。日本にDVDで買うことできるから、私がインターネットでドウンロードした。その夏休み、１０、１５回見た後で、サーブタイトルなし少ししか分からなかった。一年後、英語のサーブタイトルのバーションが見つけた。映画のストーリが分かった後で、安倍晴明と陰陽道が絶対に勉強したい。その英語のせいで、私がここにいる。これから、新しいストーリが始まる。

そしてこのごろ俳句が勉強しているから、陰陽師の映画に面白い短歌が入った：

望月の
時の行く間に
虧けぬれば　
共に満ち行け
明けの白露

私の好きな食べ物

2008-02-04T09:42:00.000-05:00

音楽：　X JAPANの「I.V.」
本：　ウンベルト・エコの「フーコーの振り子」

私の好きな食べ物はちょっと説明憎いだ。私のふるさと（ユーティカと言うニューヨーク州の真ん中の町）にイタリアから来た移住民が多いから、そとにイタリアのような食べ物は人気がある。私は一番大好きな食べ物は「ガーリック・ピザ」と言うピザだ。それは本当にシンプルなピザだ。ローカルなデリカシーから、インターネットで写真があまりないんだけれど、これは同じぐらいのピザだ。ニューヨーク州に、「ホワイト・ピザ」がある。ホワイト・ピザとガーリック・ピザも全然トマトソースがないから、ちょっと同じようなことけれど、絶対同じことではない。そして、ニューヨークシティーにまだ見つけなかったんだ。

ガーリック・ピザの作り方は本当に優しいだ。ピザ・シェールがあれば、たくさんモッツァレラチーズをいれて。その後で、スパイス（ローズメリーとかオレガノとか．．．）もガーリック・サルトもオニオン・サルトを入れて。最後には、オーブンで焼いて。子供の時、母もおばさんも私に作られた。

思いでによると、日本に行った前に、ガーリック・ピザが全然なし時はなかった。毎週の土曜日、教会の後で、グラジアンノと言うなレストランに言ったけれど、そのレストランはまだいない。グラジアンノの店仕舞いの後で、新しいレストランのピザを見つけた。ピザ・パッドと言うなレストランは一番大好きなレストランになった。ピザ・パッドはまだ店仕舞いしなかったけれど、クックが変わったから、そのガーリック・ピザはいいけれど、もっといいピザが絶対にあったと思った。その後で、世界に一番ガーリック・ピザに見つけた。ユーティカの東側に、ロサリオと言うレストランがある。今、私がユーティカに帰る時、まだ毎週ぐらいそとで家族が食べる。ユーティカはガーリック・ピザのように他のうまいイタリアの食べ物があるけれど、ガーリック・ピザはいつも私の大好き食べ物だ。

将来

2008-01-28T09:54:00.000-05:00

将来について色々な希望がある。例えば、十年後、私は恋人と結婚したいし、Ph.Dをもらいたいし、大学(院)で日本文化と宗教を教えたい。でも、Ph.Dの研究も、教えたいことも日本宗教から、日本語が絶対に強い関係がある。

今の日本語はまだレベル三だから、いろいろな頑張りたいところもある。研究のために、日本語の本を読みなければならないから、漢字を読むことも文法の全部を学ぶことなんである。読むことについて上手になるのはそれは一番大切と思うが、ほかもある。例えば、日本語で書く時、もう一度違いを探してることも、日本語に聴く時、英語に訳さないで聴けるようになることも、日本語で話す時も、日本語で考えて話すようになることである。このクラスにはこんなことをするようになる．

「真の恋人」

2007-11-28T00:38:00.000-05:00

みんなは胸がドキドキした経験があるだろうが、たいてい恋人についてことなのである。私も例外ではない。みんなのように恋人についてドキドキした経験がいっぱいある。

二年前の夏休み、私が九ヶ月間日本へ行く前、友達のパーティでサーラと言う元恋人に出会った。その時、他の恋人がいたから、胸がドキドキしたが、サーラも恋人がいた。元恋人だったが、まだ友達であった。夜、サーラと一緒に色々なことをしゃべっている間、サーラと一緒に過ごした事を思い出した。私は再びサーラに恋をしてしまった。私たちは同じ時に、もう一度恋を初めたがっていたが、全然その事を話せなかった。その夜の輝く星のしたで、胸がドキドキして、サーラにキスしたかったが、多分キスしたら、顔から火が出るかもしれない。たとえ、サーラにキスしなくても、私はニコニコ笑えたから、うれしかった。でも、すぐにサーラが行けなければならなかったから、ちょっと悲しくなってしまった。

二、三週後頃、私のおばあさんが死んでしまった。その時、サーラはお葬式にきた。見た時、すぐサーラを十、十五分ぐらい抱きしめた。胸がドキドキしていて、絶対にサーラを離すことができなかった。その前に、私はシクシク泣いたが、サーラの腕の中にいれば、すべてから守られたと感じたから。

その後で、私は日本にいる時、恋人とちょっとけんかしたので、インターネットでサーラともう一度話し始めた。私たちの初恋が終わった時から私は全く幸せなことはなく、胸がチクチクと痛むことに気が付いていたから、「真の恋人」がどこかにいると思った。「真の恋人」と言うのは運命が定めた恋の意味である。それから、私がアメリカにいなくても、もう一度付き合い始めた。その日から、胸のシクシク痛むのが終わったが、胸がドキドキし続けた。私たちのために、一緒に冒険している。他の所に行って、面白くて、エキサイティングな体験をする。今年の正月には、私たちの二年目の記念祭日がくる。

今週…

2007-10-09T23:35:00.000-04:00

音楽: 奥井雅美 - 時に愛は…
本: 老子 - 道徳経

今週は本当に面白かった。私について、クラスは今まで面白かった。日本語はちょっと難しいけど、一生懸命勉強すれば、本当に上手になる。他のクラスも面白い: 「日本の宗教伝」、「日本製図の文化歴史」、「中国の哲学・宗教・文学の経伝」と言うクラスを取っている。彼女について、ビッグ・ヌーズがある。ピータ・ベーガルについてM.S.のテーゼの研究が始まって、私が手伝っている。しかも、今日、彼女がビーガルのagent (コンアー・コクラン) を電話して、かれが手伝うって言った！　彼女は本当によかった！！

Comments?

2007-10-08T17:28:00.000-04:00

これは日本語のクラスのブログ・エントリではなくて、普通のエントリである。

Music: Haiducii - Dragostea Din Tei
Book: Lao-zi - Tao Te Ching

So for those who may be reading this with limited Japanese capabilities, everything's going fine at Columbia. I've been living in campus housing for about a month now (where does the time go?) and I've got an amazing-sized room. Like amazing. It's huge. I have a mock-fireplace in my room! That and it's only about seven blocks from campus, so for the time being, I can walk back and forth fairly easily.

Classes are good. I'm taking more Japanese (which the non-English parts of this blog are a partial requirement of), and three other culture courses: "Japanese Religious Traditions," "The Cultural History of Japanese Cartography," and "The Major Works of Chinese Philosophy, Religion, and Literature." They're all pretty interesting and I've gotten to meet a variety of students and teachers because of them.

Work is also interesting. I landed a pretty good job in the Rare Book and Manuscript Library, which is working out very well. It's hectic and a lot of on-my-feet work, but it's nice. It's a lot of packing and unpacking manuscripts (that come in from or get sent to offsite storage), shelving, unshelving, and reshelving books and manuscripts, and also filling photocopy orders of manuscripts for patrons. It's not quite as interesting as people think from the title, but there's possible mobility in the future, so we'll see where that takes me, especially if I end up here over the summer.

Sadly, I haven't really been exploring the city much. I know the area around school pretty well. I've been venturing around Riverside Park with my Czech friend, Petr, so we've figured that area out pretty well. I'm trying not to explore too much right now since it could easily become a distraction from academics, but I aim to see Saw IV the weekend after Halloween, so we're going to have to find a movie theatre somewhere.

So, if you're reading this with limited or no command to Japanese, just comment to let me know you're still with me. Have a good one, and let me know what you want to hear about next.

『才子、才に倒れる』

2007-10-03T22:10:00.000-04:00

音楽：浜崎あゆみ - Duty "Love Mix"
本： Julian Jaynes - The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind

宿題のウェブサイトが書いた通りに…

一つ目：私のことわざは「才子、才に倒れる」である。

二つ目：そのことわざの読み方は「サイシ、サイニタオレル」と言う。

三つ目：意味について、「ことわざ辞典」のままは、「自分の知識に自信を持ちすぎてかえって失敗することです。」私の言葉で、「才子は本当に知識があれば、自分を他人より下がるが、もし知識があると間違えば、自分を他人より立て、自分が倒す。」と言う意味である。

四つ目：英語と同じ意味のことわざがないと思うけれども、ことわざではなくてフレースが絶対にあるよ。例えば、A wise man that does not utilize his wisdom is not a wise manはだいたい同じ意味のフレース。このフレーズの意味は「才子には才気がなくなれば、まだ才子ではない」とことであるが、もっとことわざの通りに、「才子には『才』がなくなれば、『子』しかない」と言うことである。

自己紹介

2007-09-26T22:40:00.000-04:00

音楽: Iceman - Shining Collection (Live)
本: Joel M. Primack & Nancy Ellen Abrams - The View from the Center of the Universe

私はね…　二十四歳の日本古代の宗教を勉強してる学生である。その中に、興味は陰陽道と安倍晴明のことで、泰山府君と言う中国の道教の神様も大衆文化のことも勉強してる。他の興味には、たくさんもある。

興味はね…　日本音楽について、大好きのバンドはマイナーのバンド：TWO-MIX、angela、TO DESTINATION、Iceman、SCARECROW、Λuciferのようなバンドである。皆さんが知らない名前と思うけど、本当に面白い音楽を作る。大好きな著者はアメリカのピーター・ビーガルさんとアルゲンチナのホルヘ・ルイス・ボルヘスさんと日本の村上春樹さんと夢枕獏さんの四人だ。その四人は私の大好きのノベルを書いた。映画について、たくさんがあるけど、コンプレックスな話がある映画のほうが好きだ。

日本語について、三年にロチェスタ大学で勉強して、日本に九ヶ月間に勉強した。

それはいいかどうか分からないけど、紹介だけであるから、大丈夫と思っている。

日本語のクラスについて

2007-09-26T22:20:00.000-04:00

このポストの前は日本に行ったブログから、英語で書いてある。このポストから、日本語では書いてあるけど、英語しか話せない友達があるから、多分たいてい英語のポストもある。でも、クラスのポストは絶対に日本語で書こう。

A Little Bit of Change...

2007-09-26T22:01:00.002-04:00

For those who may still be reading this, let me be the first to say that I'm fine and well. In fact, quite arguably the best I've ever been. As part of my Japanese language class at Columbia, we're required to keep weekly blog posts, but in Japanese, and of course, I already have a blog. So, long story short, Brilliant Road is getting a resurrection, but not quite in English.

I guess if anyone still reads this since the last time I asked sometime over a year ago, I might be somewhat compelled to provide some translations for the non-English posts I will be composing in the future. If not, I might include a random English post when I'm in the mood since the constant requirement to blog will outdo the reasons I always end up phasing out of my blogs.

As an additional note, for those with facebook, I highly suggest you check out my profile there, as it has the most up-to-date information regarding me. That and that I will also be deleting my myspace page as soon as I get around to it since it's too hard to keep up two social networking profiles at once while in grad school. For those who don't have facebook, they lessened the severity of the sign-up restrictions since facebook got started up. From what I can tell, all you need is an e-mail now. For those that sign up, be sure to find and friend me.

The Floodgates Open...

2006-05-25T10:00:00.000-04:00

Memo to everyone. When you have exactly forty days left doing something, don't look up at the sky and think, "I only have forty days and forty nights, and I hope the sewers don't get backed up." I made that mistake this week. Less than an hour after doing so, rain poured down from the skies more or less for six straight hours. This wasn't just rain. It was pouring so hard you couldn't go outside. Luckily, I made it inside before the deluge.

Unfortunately, a similar deluge is happening in school. Tests and kanji don't want to go away regardless of how much I study. That's why updates have been sort of scarce this semester. I've got about 38 days until I get home now, so I'm sure I'll see most of you soon enough anyway. I have a feeling we might have to arrange some kind of slide-show of my pictures at a birthday party or something cause I don't know how else everyone will get a chance to see them... Oh well. See you guys around, and hope your sanity is farther from the breaking point than mine is.

Does anyone even read this anymore?

True Friendship...

2006-04-15T12:04:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone. I'm sorry I haven't posted recently. Lots of things kept me from doing so. For a general update, I went to Kyoto finally for two weeks with Holly, and then I came back and recently finished my first week of school. My teachers are nice, but this semester is quite literally twice the work of last semester, so my free time is nil. As for Kyoto, it was really amazing, but I doubt I'll update about it here, since it would be several posts I likely won't have time to write. I took about 800 pictures, and am glad we forked over the cash for a digital before I left, otherwise we'd be spending well over that in film developing fees.

Anyway, even though Kyoto is too immens to write about, I can write about today. It was extremely interesting because I made one plan. By coincidence, a San Francisco friend (whom I call Yui) that I had met over the Internet just got to Japan in January. Yui and I were into a few of the same anime titles and into some of the same Japanese music, but we didn't get too much time to talk since she wasn't often online. But, we had a nice burst of communication recently and decided to meet today.

We met at Studio Alta around 12:25. At that time, I confess, a lot of things were going through my head. What if she's this, or what if she's that... I suppose it's what always happens when you meet someone you don't talk to often, yet you somehow trust implicitly. I had something similar when Rika was going to visit, but we had shared literally hundreds of conversations before then, so it was somewhat different. I was about to meet someone that could literally be anyone. She could have any series of traits or qualities that never came out in the little conversing we had done before.

Anyway, we had planned to meet for karaoke and maybe lunch, so I figured that train time aside, we'd hang out for a few hours, and I'd be back early today. At 10:30 -- ten hours later -- I was in Shinjuku station catching the train home. Needless to say, it worked out very well. After meeting her, we went to karaoke for two hours (hitting all the X and Tokyo Babylon titles we could find), went to Book-Off, hit Jonathan's (Japanese family restaurant kind of like Denny's but with Japanese cuisine) for lunch, went off to Ikebukuro for a few hours, went to the Shinjuku Municipal Government Building, stopped by Saizeriya for a nice dinner and an equally nice conversation, and then returned to Shinjuku Station and each went our separate ways.

During those ten hours -- aside from the two we spent singing -- we talked about a variety of things, which I won't bother to list here, as that will only confuse people and won't serve well to emphasize my point. We both knew that we were into the same anime and the same music, but we didn't realize we had similar further interests. It was amazing being able to carry on what was basically an eight-hour-conversation with someone I'd never really ever "met" before, or at least in real life. What I guess I mean to say is that we synched incredibly well. There was never a dull point in the conversation, which was so enthralling that we often tangented off one thing to another, so I'm sure that out of the bazillion things we talked about, not a single one was fully covered. I don't know if any of you have ever had a similar experience, but if you ever have the chance to, take it. It's great to meet someone you really synch with well and then be able to sit back and watch that synching just play out.

We both had an extremely wonderful time, and if it wasn't before, it is definitely the start of a beautiful friendship. I just feel bad that when we get home from Japan, she'll still be on the other side of the country. Then again, I already have friends to visit there at some point, so I suppose I can visit her then too! Anyway, we decided definitely against wasting the couple months we still have to hang out while I'm here (since I leave first), so we'll be getting together again fairly soon, I'm sure. I don't really know what I can say about today that I haven't said yet, aside from that I feel really really happy. And after recieving some extremely good (but confidential) news about a friend a couple days ago, this has become a really great weekend and a nice source of happiness for me.

More funsies...

2006-03-14T01:32:00.000-05:00

Well, today, I attended graduation for the older kids who have been here for two years already. It was kind of touching and moving. I had to go to recite a tanka (短歌, special five-line poem, a haiku [俳句] with two seven-syllabic lines at the end) that I wrote for graduation. It was pretty cool. Here's the tanka if anyone is interested (note that if you want to read it aloud, use Spanish vowel pronunciations):

生きる意味 (ikiru imi)
夢見る時に (yume miru toki ni)
空の中 (sora no naka)
今日より高く (kyou yori takaku)
飛ぶ将来に (tobu shourai ni)

(The meaning of life is that, at the time you see a dream, you fly higher than today towards the future...)

Though I like the one I wrote in class on the subject of "me" better:

俺の中 (ore no naka)
天地陰陽 (tenchi inyou)
永遠に (eien ni)
木火土金 (ki ka dou kin)
水様に舞う (sui you ni mau)

(Inside me are heaven and earth and yin and yang, dancing for eternity like wood, fire, earth, metal, and water...)

Yeah. I'm a poet and I didn't even know it. :-P I used a lot of old poetic words (like "mau") for those non-Japanese-speakers in my reading crowd.

So anyway, graduation was cool. We got to watch the koto (琴) class perform, which was really cool. I forgot my camera, but Terry taped most of it, so I'll just have to grab the videos from him sometime. It was really kind of sentimental too, even though I wasn't graduating. It still felt like I was leaving. It's going to be hard to leave all my teachers here, I think. They've all helped me so much these past six months, it'll be hard to think of life without them.

After graduation, I got some shopping done. Angela's newest CD (which was supposed to be released tomorrow) was on the shelves, so I nabbed it. The new CD is called "PRHYTHM," which looks very odd, but it's supposed to be a combination of "prism" and "rhythm." Gackt's "Moon Child" novel and Yumemakura Baku (夢枕獏)'s most recent (3/10) Onmyoji (陰陽師) novel also found their way into my shopping bag, so that was nice. (As for the CD, it's probably at least as good as their last one, I/O, but there isn't any really crazy song like "Maybe.. Maybe.." on this one. However, still two thumbs up from me.)

And after I got home, I checked angela's website and realized I made a fatal error. The Shibuya (渋谷) AX concert wasn't on April 1st like I had previously thought. It was on April 8th. This is good news since I'll hopefully find my way to Kyoto () during break, and will be back in time to catch the concert on the 8th. I waited too long to get tickets, so I'm stuck standing, and they probably won't see me, but I wouldn't be surprised if my lip-prints are still on Atsuko (敦子)'s hand from last summer. それは本当の「渋味」だ。

Three Great Weekends...

2006-03-12T08:29:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. Bet no one checks this anymore, right? Oh well. For those of you who do, I have a nice little condensed three-week update. Classes are still going well, though finals season approaches. So far all is well.

I came to the decision today that I really live in a great part of Tokyo (東京). It's not really Nishi-Kokubunji (西国分寺) persay; it's really Koigakubo (恋ヶ窪), but that makes as little difference as living anywhere in the "Greater Utica Area." For starters, the supermarket is a three-minute walk from my dorm, the post office (complete with really convenient ATM) and the train station I don't take is about three minutes beyond that. The train station I take is a ten-minute walk, and my favorite teacher's house is three minutes past that. So everything is nice and handy really.

I found out today, though, that the Satou (佐藤) family, my old host family, lives only about 20-25 minutes farther out than the post office. I took the train to go to their place for lunch, but I walked back (since it is only one stop on the train), and I was amazed at how close it was. It's really interesting to have everything you need all around you. I mean, it's still an hour to Shinjuku (新宿) every day, but that's what it would be anywhere. This area also reminds me a lot of home. It's urban and rural all at once, and many things seem to remind me of Utica in a kind of nostalgic way.

So anyway, backing up to two weekends ago. Since one of my teachers, Tanabe-sensei (田辺先生), lives in the same area as I do, we both thought it would be nice to arrange an out-of-class meeting sometime, so I offered to come by and cook the good 'ol soon-to-be-world-famous chicken. She had invited several other older students of hers, and we all had a nice little party. She is extremely nice, and it was nice to play with her dog, Lotta, since Jesse is somewhat unavailable. So we had a great time. I think I was at her house for around five or six hours. She and I finished two bottles of wine together -- one the Chianti I brought -- and just talked for awhile. It was really quite fun.

I also got to meet her husband and daugher whom are both really nice. The other thing that's kind of cool is that she calls me Joe in class now, as opposed to Joe-san. (For those who don't know, -san is an honorific used for respect at the end of people's names. However, when people become good friends, they don't use this honorific at all.) She also said to call her either Kaoru (馨, I think...) or Kaoru-san when we're out of class, so that was kind of cool. She also speaks really decent English as I found out, so that was kind of cool too. I had a lot of fun and I'm sure I'll be over there again before I know it.

Last weekend was also very cool and very full. The school had planned a bus trip to a hot spring, but had to change locations for some reason, so we ended up going to visit a farm-type place. It was kind of neat and reminded me of the good ol' days when we would go to farms and stuff for field trips in elementary school. But we had a lot of fun. First off, on the bus ride down, we passed two locations on my to-do list that haven't been checked off yet: the Tokyo Tower and Rainbow Bridge, both locations from X. Hehe. So it was good karma to see those both right in the beginning of the day -- despite the ridiculously early time I had to wake up -- and that karma led to an even better weekend.

At the farm, we had an OK time. There wasn't too much fun lurking about, cause, well, it's a farm. We did do some fun things though, like make our own blueberry jam. The landscape was also amazingly breathtaking, so I took lots of pictures of that. It got pretty cold though, so none of us really wanted to do anything but stay indoors. Which was funny because at that time there was a show where some caucasian guy (not sure what English-speaking-country he was from) was talking about -- and introducing -- many types of "big sheep" on the farm. And yes, mom and dad, ironically enough, there was a Horned Dorset. I took pictures. Anyway, this guy's Japanese was really bad and his English was pretty scary too. It was really weird to listen to him talk. Then he shaved an entire sheep onstage in under two minutes, and though I've never been to a sheep-shaving before, I'll admit that it was interesting on some level. So yeah, we had a lot of fun and eventually went back to Shinjuku, going over Rainbow Bridge once again (sowaka!) and seeing Tokyo Tower as we pulled back around into Shinjuku. It was a lot of fun, really.

I ended up spending the rest of the weekend with my friends from last year's class: Jin-fun, Lisa, and one of Jin-Fun's friend's from the Don-chan restaurant we like to go to. We had a really great time, and I guess it was kind of like a bonding experience for Jin-Fun and I. I mean, we know each other pretty well, despite the partial language barrier (the only language we have in common is Japanese since he speaks no English and I speak no Korean), but just being able to go off and have a good amount of fun during the weekend just seemed to bring us into a much closer bond of friendship, which was really cool. I'm definitely going to miss him when I go home. He's certainly my best friend here that doesn't speak English; Terry being my best friend here that does.

So this weekend, you already know I went to my old host family's house and stayed with them for awhile, but I have a brief story before that. On the way back from school on Thursday, Terry decided that he wanted to have steak for lunch, so we went to the Saizeriya in Nishi-Kokubunji. I should have written about Saizeriya a long time ago in a past post. If I didn't, I meant to. It would have been one of the first few though, cause the first time (out of three) that I was there was back in Seya. Anyway, so we ate a lot at Saizeriya (Rump Roast, rice, garlic bread...), but I asked if he was full and he said he had some room left, so I convinced him to come back with me to the Chat Noir in Kokubunji (国分寺) for another round of parfaits and orgasmic toast. After that, we were both pretty stuffed, but I couldn't resist ducking into McDonald's and snagging a large fry. Now THAT, my friends, is an eating tour of where I live if I've ever been on one. It was pretty fun, and ironically, when I was done buying food, I was down to exactly one yen in my pocket. Not zero. One. Yeah. It was really funny.

So, eating tours aside, I originally thought it was going to be a relaxing weekend for me, compared to the last two, but NO, life had other plans. Which I'm sort of fine with. Anyway, I got to Satou-san's house, and showed them all the Japan pictures I had taken since I last stayed at their house. Then, Shogo, the father, took Mike (their current KCP homestay student) and I out for a walk. We walked way way farther down that foresty road -- for those who remember my post about when I lived in Kodaira (小平) -- and saw some amazingly beautiful scenery. We ended up in a very nice park in Tamagawajousui (玉川上水), with a lot of historical monuments from World War II, including a building that had been machine-gunned, and never restored or knocked down. Right now, it's a historical monument, as is the American plane engine/propellor on the ground next to it. That was pretty fun.

After that, Shogo-san took us out to a Chinese restaurant where I was absolutely surprised at how much I ate. Shrimp and rice and soup and gyoza and shumai and all sorts of stuff. Really really filling. Meanwhile, Mike and I exchanged stories too. I don't know him very well since he's new this semester (which is almost over) and he's in the afternoon class, not the morning class, like I am. So it was nice to get to know him a little better. He's also from Washington state. (Evan, if you're reading this, that's two people now from your neck of the woods!) But anyway, it was a lot of fun. We came back to their house, talked for awhile, and looked at the albums they keep of all the homestay students they had over the years, cause they've been doing this for at least the last four or five years. I was really impressed, and found in their albums the last picture we took before I left them. We had taken a lot more pictures today during the walk, and now, I knew exactly where they were all going, which made me feel happy. Once my book gets published and translated, I have to send them a copy. They'll totally die. Hehe.

So those were my last few weekends. Now I get to not post for another month! (Just kidding!)

1/2

2006-02-19T09:15:00.000-05:00

Holy double-posting, Batman! Yes, two posts in one day!

Well, it's not much of a second post, but I just wanted to remind everyone that, for better or worse, I'm officially halfway done with being here in Japan. I know lots of people are waiting for me to come home, and I can't wait to see everyone. I also can't wait for the next trip to Rosario's or Romano's (hmm... looks like I'll have to spend the rest of my life in New York State from here on... then again, Oscugnizzo's does actually ship pizza anywhere in the continental U.S. now...).

But yeah. Just wanted to say that I miss everyone. I even miss Utica, and anyone who knows me well enough understands exactly how weird that is. In addition, the weeks have been passing like quicksilver, so I have a feeling that I'll be home before I know it. I miss you all!

----------

Edit: Because of this, I think that I'm happy to be here in Japan this winter. It's only snowed twice in Tokyo so far, though snow was always on the ground when I visited Holly in Kushiro (釧路) and when I went to Nikko (日光). It's extremely nice to only have two snowfalls (even though the snow lasts for a few days), and I seriously think that is all any winter really needs. Not this four feet of snow per week central NYS garbage. Hehe.

Cheap Ice-Cream Girls and Orgasmic Toast

2006-02-19T07:05:00.000-05:00

So, where to begin? Well, today was kind of cool. Terry (one of the other Americans here) and I went out just to walk around Kokubunji (国分寺) for a bit, since it's on our train line and we can go anywhere on our line for free. It's also one stop, which is very nice. We've kind of gotten into the habit of doing this every now and then (though sometimes we go to Kichijoji [吉祥寺] or Ogikubo [荻窪]).

He and I have developed an interesting relationship. Being the only two people who live in the dorm here and have morning class, we basically are walking to the train to school together every morning, so we've gotten to know each other fairly well, and have become good friends. Aside from checking out the towns along our train line, we've been out for parties, karaoke, and all sorts of other things, though no one reading this would know that since I'm so bad at keeping up this thing. Mom and Dad know I was never good at keeping up journals when I was a kid. Some things never change.

But I digress. So we went to Kokubunji and just kind of hung out tonight. We went to play his favorite Gundam Seed game in the arcade, and he forced me to play (so if I get addicted, guess whose fault it is), but it was pretty cool. I had fun. We hit a couple of hundred-yen stores, a pretty crowded bookstore (referring to the books, not the people in the store), and an out-of-the-way-music-store-complete-with-a-cat-lying-down-on-a-shelf-of-records. Boy was he cute. First cat I've been able to pet since I got here. There are tons of strays in Shinjuku, which is nice to see, but none of them trust humans, and probably with good reason.

Anyway, we ended up at this cafe, the "Chat Noir," which we had gone to twice before. I mean, it's not Gitsis by any means, but it'sstill quite good. I guess going three times makes it a sort of Kokubunji tradition. But anyway, we were having all sorts of interesting discussions from past (and future) lives to games, and from movies to--of course--relationship issues. Stayed on that topic for a long time, and it was kind of fun to talk about it all. It was in the cafe that Terry coined the title above. After ordering his signature 500-yen blueberry parfait, he said that he loves the cafe because its cheap, there's ice-cream, and there are girls. He was right. Then he repeated, "Cheap Ice-Cream Girls," in which I pointed out that if he switched the order, hilarity might ensue. I had ordered buttered toast actually, which was quite good. In fact, it was so good--and I haven't found good buttered toast elsewhere in Japan--I decided to name it "Orgasmic Toast" because that's how my mouth feels. So, now everyone knows where the title comes from.

But the point of the story isn't that. It's that I've really gotten close to some of the people here, and it's really interesting bonding, especially when so many people come here for so many different reasons. I've seen--and am still seeing--people coming here from all different stereotypical Japan-related backgrounds and with stereotypical American-in-Japan mindsets, and it's interesting to know I don't fall in that group.

Also, for those interested in my excuses for not posting recently, blame it on grad school applications and my recent midterm. I'll try to keep up as much as I can from here on.

Finally, an update!

2006-01-24T06:41:00.000-05:00

So now, I realize some of you have eagerly been seeking updates, though I get the feeling that no one really checks this much anymore, and I can't blame you all. This is the first time I've been to this site in about a month or so. I just added some comments that have been piling up for a bit.

Anyway, so I'm in a new arrangement this year, living in a dormitory in Nishi-Kokubunji (西国分寺), which is very nice. Everything is great, except the meal plan, which I'm thinking of switching out of, opting instead to do my own meal-making. We'll see how that turns out in a bit. All my teachers are nice this year, and one of them lives in the same city as I do, so we'll see what happens there. (For those who don't know, it's very popular in Japan for students and teachers to hang out after school or go out drinking or something along those lines.)

Hopefully the crazy depression that climaxed somewhat with my last journal entry is over, but I have a few more posts I'd like to write eventually about that. One is a little dark, so I'm not sure if the world is ready for it yet (though I've already shared it with some). Oh well. I'm behind on a lot of posts but not on other things. The thing that's really bothering me now is grad school applications. Hopefully those will go out ok, but I do have my fair share of doubts. I can't say I didn't try though.

I've been reading quite a bit lately, just because I can't seem to do any decent writing, so I thought reading would be a somewhat perfectly acceptable substitute. I thought I'd include a reading list at the moment in case anyone feels obliged to either join up with me on a similar book or ask for a recommendation. Here is the list, though it includes everything in my recent "Golden Age" of reading, which started shortly before I came to Japan. For those who are curious, Norwegian Wood was the first book I finished here. Anyway, here is the list:

- O'Brien, Robert C. / Miss Frisby and the Rats of NIMH
- Jones, Diana Wynne / Howl's Moving Castle
- Ende, Michael / Neverending Story, The
- Beagle, Peter S. / Last Unicorn, The
- Kikuchi Hideyuki / Vampire Hunter D
- Murakami Haruki / Norwegian Wood
- Borges, Jorge Luis / Fictions
- Brautigan, Richard / In Watermelon Sugar
- Trevanian / Shibumi
- Gaiman, Neil / Study in Emerald, A
- Lewis, C.S. / Magician's Nephew, The
- Doyle, Arthur Conan / Study in Scarlet, A
- Baum, Frank L. / Wonderful Wizard of Oz, The
* LeBlanc, Maurice & Jepson, Edgar / Arsène Lupin
- Lewis, C.S. / Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The
- Wells, H.G. / Time Machine, The
- Paolini, Christopher / Eragon
- Perez-Reverte, Arturo / El Club Dumas
- Murakami Haruki / The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

So yeah. I guess that'll be it for now. As for what's to come next in the list, a few things are sort of irking at me. Harry Potter, Dune, the rest of Narnia, His Dark Materials, and a few other things are just kind of sitting on my computer begging to be read. C.S. Lewis aside, I'm trying to only read one author at a time, just for the sake of variety. So we'll see what happens. I'll keep you all updated.

Anyone want to hear about some topic in particular that I haven't mentione yet? Tell me! Also, as far as pictures are concerned, I might start updating them once grad school applications are all sent out. Thanks for being patient!

Shattered...

2005-12-23T08:41:00.000-05:00

Here's a post I didn't think I'd ever have to write. Warning: it's depressing. Really depressing. Right now, I don't care who reads it or what they think of it. End of story. This is just a doorway into my mind right now and only that. This is only text on a page. I'm not going to go off the deep end or anything. There's no need to worry. I'm sure I'll heal eventually. I always have, so I have no reason to suspect otherwise. I will say though that it will be difficult.

Another warning: NO ONE who reads this blog will be able to even slightly comprehend some of what I'm talking about. Some of you--you know who you are--will be saying "I know it was important to you," and "I'm sorry you couldn't go." Others will read this and think to themselves, "So what?" or "Oh, it was just something small like that? You really had me scared!" However, keep in mind that ALL of you have NO IDEA how important this was. No one can ever possibly know. And that's probably the worst part of it all.

So, right now, I can't even begin to communicate how depressed I am. I've had one of my greatest dreams just stolen out from under me by some Japanese company. It's something I've been wanting to do for more than four years now, and it can never happen again. It's gone for good. Like really.

Over four years ago, I found out about Abe no Seimei (this guy that I'm studying, for those who can't keep up), and discovered that the millenial anniversary of his death was this year: 2005. I had made a promise to both him and to myself that I would come visit his shrine sometime during that year. Because of lots of things that had happened, it suddenly became me spending Christmas there with him, which I thought was very good. I mean, who gets to spend Christmas with a thousand-year-old ghost whom he happens to feel some inner connection with? Well, now that's become impossible. Because there was just a little bit more snow than predicted, the particular tour bus that I chose was cancelled (mind you, the others were not), and I am no longer able to go by any means. My promise has been literally shattered and there is no word for what I feel besides "devastated."

I have only been close to being this depressed twice in my life. Both situations I recall with amazing clarity, but feel it is a bit of a moot point, so I won't even bother going into them. One was back senior year of high school, and the other was in college. This is the third, but out of them all, it is the first one that ever involved the shattering of one of my dreams. And for those who have never experienced this feeling, let me be the first to tell you that you are extremely lucky.

Part of the reason that this is so devastating is because there were literally hundreds of obstacles to getting here. I've really come so far. On my way home on the train, I pictured every single obstacle that I passed along the way in order to make it here. I finished college and made it to Japan. Basically everything I've ever achieved in the last four plus years was all leading up to this moment--this single precious moment--which now lies shattered irreparably. I hate it because it shows me how truly insignificant I am and how I constantly work and slave only to get crap thrown in my face. These past two weeks, I've been stressed so much that I've almost had my second nervous breakdown ever, and THIS is what I have to deal with afterward? This is how I'm repaid for all of the hard work I've done and every one of the hundreds of obstacles I've overcome?

And that's not mentioning the timing. According to some, this is "the most wonderful time of the year," and "the season of perpetual hope." Right now, I feel like I'm beyond hope. I feel almost like everything I've ever wanted and everyone I've ever cared for has all vanished in a moment's notice and I'm left by myself to just sit and rot. As much as I hate to admit it, that's really what I feel like doing right now. Going home (yes, HOME-home, not Japan-home) and just rotting.

I just feel so horrible, like this entire trip has suddenly lost every bit of value it ever had. Like everything I've been fighting for for years has been all for nothing. Even everything I mentioned previously that I was so happy about--even Carol--doesn't hold a candle to this.

I've been following Seimei ever since I first heard of him. I've bought countless books (I've got fifty right here on the shelf above my bed, all purchased during this trip) and things that are somehow related to him. I've worked so hard to be able to get this far and keep my promise, and now it's all gone.

This really was a war for me, and I lost several battles (some of you were witnesses to that; for example, the Fulbright was a serious lost battle for me), but now, I've finally lost the war. And it is with those thoughts that I'm basically forced to accept the fact that Christmas will be here in about twenty-five hours. And then, after that, I get to spend my two-week vacation studying for next term and planning out my future (or lack thereof). And that makes me feel oh-so-much-happier. On that note, I think all I have left to say is that this will surely be a Christmas that I will never forget.

-----

(Afternote: I can't help but emphasize the "don't get worried about me" part. I'm just venting my emotions. That's all. I AM NOT going to do something stupid like go out and get wasted or commit suicide or anything. Don't worry, I know better than that. Besides, that's not the same kind of depressed. I just feel right now like I'm worthless [or at least worthless as far as the game of life is concerned] and that no one can make me think otherwise. At least for now.)

Addendum: I'm not sure if I'll write another entry in the next twenty-five hours or not, so if I don't, everyone have a Merry Christmas.

1/3

2005-12-22T20:18:00.000-05:00

So, now my first term at KCP is finished. I have completed one-third of my time in Japan thus far. It's interesting how everything has worked out. I've moved from my host family into the dorm, and everything is working out pretty well. The meal plan here is something I'm going to have to adjust to, and next year, chances are good that I'll be in the morning class instead of the afternoon class, so that will definitely be a big adjustment as well. We'll have to see what happens. Then again, I'm all ready for it.

What I'm not sure I'm ready for is this big trip to Kyoto today. I'm all psyched, but at the same time, I'm not sure. I've wanted to go for so long now, and now that it's finally here, I'm not sure what to think. I had to spend yesterday doing all the things I should have done a week ago if it weren't for the hecticness of finals season (for example, getting my Alien Registration Card, trying to cancel my flight home, getting my visa taken care of, and all of those other little things I need to do to stay in the country).

I could do that all nice and fine, but tonight, I have to catch a bus to Kyoto (which is already reserved and everything), but I don't know what it's going to be like, and to be honest, that's a little scary for me. The other thing is that I've been waiting for this long to go see Seimei. Now, the way it works out, I'll be spending the majority of Christmas with him, which is actually kind of funny when I think about it. But still, I haven't really travelled outside of Tokyo by myself so far, so I really don't know what to expect.

I always seem to get this irrational fear though. I got it once or twice when I was just able to catch the last train home. I got it just yesterday, when I tried to go to Jin-fun-san's house through Kabuki-cho and got a little lost. I guess it'll be the same here. Once I get on the train, I'll be ok, and can enjoy everything from then on. That is, until I have to catch the return bus. And then there's the flight to Kushiro. Sigh. I guess my world will always remain hectic.

By the way, I still have several blog entires I've been meaning to write. Now that I'm settled in to the dorm, I can probably start with a few of them. Maybe I can do some on the train, or during some spare time at Holly's. Either way, the point is that I'm behind, so hopefully I'll get back on track soon.

Also, for those of you counting, class starts up again on January 12th. I'll have a new schedule, a host of new teachers, and all sorts of other things to write about, I'm sure.

Update...

2005-12-18T22:15:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone -- I know some of you have been waiting for an update for awhile, and trust me... I've got some four or five updates to write. However, now, everything is really hectic because it's finals crunch time. My big final is on Wednesday, and I move to the dorms on Thursday. After that, I head off to Kyoto for a couple days, and off to Kushiro to visit Hol. She has internet though, so I should be able to do a few updates once I get there. Thanks everyone for being patient!

Kankokujin (韓国人) III

2005-11-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, a sequel. This was probably by far the most touching night of my life in Japan. It involved a serious eye-opening moment that really changed a lot of things for me as of late, though I can’t really say why or how. It’s one of those mysterious events that you just kind of make note of and hope that something happens that will help you understand it later.

Like I said in my last post on my Korean classmates, it was Uni-san’s (28th) birthday this week, so again, we would go to our usual weekly hangout, the Don-chan (どんちゃん: little piggy) restaurant in Shin-Okubo (新大久保). However, I had to take out money from the ATM before we went, so Jin-fun-san and I went to do that, while Uni-san, Lisa, and Kensei-san went to the restaurant.

After I withdrew my money near school in Shinjuku-Gyoen-Mae (新宿御苑前), we went down the main street to Shinjuku (新宿) and from there to Shin-Okubo (新大久保). However, we happened to stop by a UFO-Catcher store (we call them “crane machines” in America), and, of course, Jin-fun-san is somewhat obsessed with playing these games. He wanted to win some things for everyone for tonight. So he stopped and played for a bit.

Once we got to the restaurant (with many stuffed animals in tow), they had already been through two rounds of pork, though there were many left to go. (I’ll explain the pork-eating process more when I upload pictures.) Also, Namyung-san (another of my Korean classmates, whom everyone thinks is the cutest girl in the class) was there, which was a nice surprise. I think she took a break from her part-time-job that day to hang out for Uni-san’s birthday. Jin-fun-san’s girfriend, Hana-san, also came to celebrate.

So, like usual, we had pork and I had a couple ringo sawas (りんごサワー, apple-flavored alcoholic malt beverages). This time, however, since it was a special occasion, they also ordered Kankoku shochu (韓国焼酎) which is basically distilled Korean liquor, so I had to take part in the toasting and drinking my portion of the shochu.

I didn’t get Uni-san anything yet, mostly because I’m not sure what to get her, but during our little celebration, Lisa, the manga-ka (漫画家, comic-book-writer)-in-training, drew Uni-san a very nice picture of the five of us. I had seen Lisa do a few pencil sketches in class, but this was the first time I had seen something that she had finished. I was extremely compelled by the picture, and took many pictures of it (so you’ll see it soon enough).

This was the eye-opening moment. Though the picture itself (no offense to Lisa) is still kind of amateur, it is extremely well-done and thought-provoking. The first thing I thought of was when the five of us finally have to part directions. It was actually kind of sad. Though, now that I have a picture of the drawing (it’s my desktop wallpaper now), I can look at it whenever I want to. It’s interesting because sometimes I look at it and want to cry, and other times, I look at it and feel really happy. Either way, it’s of people I’ve barely known for a couple months, but we obviously have such a strong bond that it provokes a high emotional response in me. It’s very strange.

(For the severely limited amount of people reading this blog who understand the reference, it makes me think of the end of each episode of Weiß Kreuz Glühen. As the guys are singing Stone Roses, the last thing you see is an empty room, with an open window and the curtains blowing lightly. On the nightstand by the window is a picture of the four Weiß boys, and then the scene fades to black. Once I move to the dorms, if someone sends me an episode, I can take stills and up them to my picture area later so everyone understands what I mean.)

So that was the eye-opening moment. As for the continuation of the evening, everyone had a lot of fun, and we ended up moving to another restaurant for more drinks. Uni-san and Namyung-san taught me to call them Uni-nuna and Namyung-nuna, since nuni is the Korean equivalent of senpai (先輩, means senior). And yes, I realize “Uni-nuna” sounds really strange for a name. I didn’t invent the Korean language.

At the new restaurant, I finally had a chance to try a Kyoho (grape) sawa, which was amazing, even though I was having a little more Kankoku shochu at the same time. By ten thirty or so, I had a fairly good alcohol buzz, which actually felt kind of nice. The last time that happened was back at school with the whole 2004 Beaujolais Noveau incident of about one year ago this month. (By the way, just to clear things up, I wasn’t “drunk;” I was just on the drunk side of tipsy.)

Anyway, it was about time to head back, and though I tried to explain that I was ok, the girls were worried about me, so instead of walking to Seibu-Shinjuku station (西部新宿駅), where I needed to go, they asked me to go instead to the Shin-Okubo station (新大久保駅), which was much closer. The thing was that Shin-Okubo station would only take me further out of my way really, since I couldn’t take a train from there to Seibu-Shinjuku station, and that was where my train bound for Kodaira (小平) was. I recalled seeing Seibu-Shinjuku station (which I had only used for two days already) when Jin-fun-san and I were walking to Shin-Okubo, so I decided to try to walk to Seibu-Shinjuku station, regardless of my intoxicatedness.

This is where everyone waits to read what trouble I got into. Sorry to disappoint you, but I know my limits a bit better than that. Not only did I walk from Shin-Okubo to Seibu-Shinjuku station, but I got on the train and back home with no problems whatsoever. By the time I got to Takanodai station (鷹の台駅), the alcohol’s small effect on my perception had already worn off, and I walked home just fine. I woke up the next morning, refreshed, ready for school, and hangover-less. It had been a good night.

I’ve been looking at Lisa’s picture at least once every day since then. I guess the best way to describe it is that it will always be a sort of memory for me of the times that the five of us will share together over the next few months, though once we say goodbye, it will be really sad. I am not looking forward to that moment.

New family

2005-11-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

So, now that the chaos of midterm season is over, I thought I’d talk about something I didn’t really mention before to anyone. Since Wednesday, I’ve been living with a new host family in a new location entirely. My original host father, Shunji, works for a company, and he got the opportunity to take a week-long vacation in I think Australia. Since the company was paying for it, my host mother and brother could also go. However, I obviously could not, nor could I stay at their home for a week without them.

Once my midterm exam was over, my school set me up with another host family, who lives in Kodaira (小平). I must say that I was not eager to get used to a new family since I had finally gotten used to living with the Matsumoto (松本) family. However, I didn’t exactly have much choice in the matter. This was the only option.

When I was riding the train to Takanodai station (鷹の台駅) to meet them, I really dreaded everything. I got there about fifteen minutes early, so I went to a Seven Eleven (which are abundant here), bought some Pocky, and sat in a small park eating it. I had an eye-opening moment there, too. Not about my new family, but just in general. It was interesting to be six-and-a-half-feet-tall, but sitting in a small children’s park with children’s rides, and eating Pocky. No one was in the park but me. There was also a tree in the center of the park, but it had no leaves on it, since the first breath of “winter” has already arrived here. It was just interesting to sit there for a while and let everything digest.

Once the time came, I took a few deep breaths and went back to the station to meet my new host mother, who walked me home. She was much older than Yukiko, since she has a son in college now, but she was really nice and very genki (元気, which means happy, but I’m using it to mean more giddy and excited than just happy). Once I spent five minutes with her, I was far more relieved, and wondering why I had even been anxious in the first place. Her English was also very good, so I had no cause for concern there.

The walk home took about twenty-five minutes (though I can do it within four repeats of Dark Half), but it was really beautiful. The section of Kodaira in which they live reminded me a lot of back home. For example, once we got off the main street, we had to walk through a pseudo-park which was basically a single path with trees around it and a small river. Once I upload the pictures, you’ll see the similarity between wandering down this path and wandering through Proctor Park. It was a really nice touch for me, and I realized then how much I actually missed being home.

If that weren’t enough, once we left the path and went inside the house, I was reminded even more of home. Unlike the Matsumoto home, which is a Japanese mansion (In Japanese, a “mansion” is basically just a really really nice apartment complex, not a Western-style mansion), the Satou home is a lot more rustic and old-fashioned. Inside the house, I basically get half of the second floor to myself. It’s set up kind of like a pseudo-apartment within a house. I have my own bed, bookshelf, chair, desk, tv, couch, sink, refrigerator, closet, washing machine, toilet, shower, and other things too. (Pictures forthcoming.)

After I had spent about an hour in my room, I realized exactly what it reminded me of. It was just like spending the night at Babci’s when Beth and I were kids. The Satou (佐藤) home has that same kind of rustic, old-fashioned feel that Babci’s house had before the floors were all redone and stuff. It was really cool when I thought about it. Kodaira is like a nice little taste of the Utica that I haven’t seen for two months. This was very nice because I do really miss Utica in some ways, but I can’t really say that I’m homesick. Maybe being here was also some kind of fate? To be honest, I can’t say.

As much as I like it here, I go back to the Matsumoto mansion today, so my time here was quite limited. However, my host mother, Kyoko, told me that I can visit whenever I damn well please, so that’s kind of reassuring. If I ever do get homesick, coming back here will probably help a lot. And I do intend to come back at some point. It is really nice here, and it’s also very close to the dormitory that I hope to move into next semester in Nishi-Kokubunji (西国分寺).

Fate

2005-11-27T21:57:00.000-05:00

Well, here’s a post I’ve been trying to write for a month or so now. Sorry it’s so late.

Anyway, one of the biggest things to hit me during my first week in Japan was the concept of destiny or fate. I’ve never really been too much of a fatalist, the only exception being when I’m doing my fantasy writing (and when I'm watching X). However, now, I’m starting more and more to believe in fate and predestination. In the month that I’ve spent in Japan since I intended on writing this, that belief has only grown stronger.

(Background info: For those who don’t know, my main interest in Japan as of now is a mystic who died exactly 1,000 years ago. His mysticism was mostly Taoist in nature [yin & yang], but also sort of an amalgamation of Buddhism and Shinto [神道]. He was one of what were called “onmyoji [陰陽師]” or “Masters of Yin and Yang.” They were basically diviners for the emperor of Japan back in the early days, but many believed them to have supernatural powers, so there is a lot of mystery around their group. The most famous onmyoji, the one I am studying was Abe no Seimei [安倍晴明] and there are a great many legends about him spread throughout Japan. Whenever you see the words “onmyoji,” “onmyodo,” or “Seimei,” this is what I’m referring to. I know it’s hard to digest all this info, so maybe it’s best for you to just think of him as a Merlin-type figure.)

So, I’ve wanted to study Seimei ever since I heard about him freshman year in college. My college years culminated with an all-too-well-written application to the Fulbright committee to go to Japan for a year to study both Japanese and Abe no Seimei. However, that fell through, most likely due to my ineptitude in Japanese in comparison to what I would need to know to study him. Needless to say, I was crushed, though not so much because I didn’t get accepted. I was hurt moreso because my academics suffered due to the terribly large amounts of work I put into my application which amounted to nothing.

During my first week here, I realized that I might’ve been fated to not get accepted by the Fulbright committee. I ended up in a nice homestay with wonderful host parents, who—of all things—were also interested in Abe no Seimei. We went to a few used bookstores and I gathered up all I could on the guy (though finding academic books on him is much much harder than to find comic books or fantasy novels), which amounted to quite a bit that I still cannot read.

However, my host mother, Yukiko, happened to find a book that is basically a “tour guide” for seeing Seimei-related stuff in Japan. She quickly discovered that he had visited a very small temple called Yagumo Jinja (八雲神社) near the famous Engakuji (円覚寺) Temple in Kamakura (鎌倉). Naturally, the following weekend, we went to Kamakura and visited the temple. Right next to Yagumo Jinja, there was a small stone erected with Seimei’s name engraved on it, though they used slightly different kanji (安部晴明 instead of 安倍晴明). That one I have yet to figure out, but it’s still definitely him as far as I (and the book) can tell. As usual, pictures of the Kamakura visit will come as soon as I get a chance to upload them.

The point of this entry is that I’m closer now to Seimei than I ever have been before, and a big part of that was not being accepted to study him for the Fulbright. It’s really interesting how fate seems to worrk out. And speaking of fate and destiny, I highly doubt that it’s a coincidence that I found out about Seimei in just enough time to actually visit his shrine in Kyoto (京都) on the thousandth-year-anniversary of his death. That’s too much of a coincidence to just be shrugged off, I think. For anyone who cares, I’m going to visit the temple during my winter break, just before Christmastime and the culmination of his thousandth-year-anniversary. I’m sure I’ll have a great many pictures to share after that.

Books

2005-11-27T21:56:00.000-05:00

Here’s a short one that I’ve been meaning to write for awhile. Now, everyone in America enjoys Barnes and Nobles and Borders and even Amazon for all their book-related (and sometimes CD-related) needs. However, in Japan, there is another king as far as I’m concerned. And no, it’s not Kinokuniya.

(Background info: Kinokuniya is basically the Japanese version of Borders and Barnes and Noble put together. There is a NINE-STORY Kinokuniya store in Shinjuku [新宿] within walking distance of my school. Kinokuniya sells only new books and usually for the rather expensive cover-price. Dad – when we went to New York for my JET interview, the Japanese book store that we went to was one of the two American branches of Kinokuniya.)

Anyway, the God of Bookstores that I’m talking about is Book-Off. It’s a half-priced bookstore (with a 105 yen section) that has nearly everything I could ever want. When I shopped for Seimei books, I found a great many of them at Book-Off (almost fifty). When I looked for CDs of any kind, I could usually find them at Book-Off. I found all of my Carol merchandise and the amazingly rare Ai no Kusabi (間の楔) novel at Book-Off. Yes, the Carol and Ai no Kusabi novels were BOTH in the 105 yen section. (Note: 105 yen is less than a dollar. Usually there is a rate of about 110 yen per dollar, though it’s slightly more than that at the moment.) I even have my own non-expiring Book-Off Membership Card (which I got within the first week of coming to Japan) which doesn’t get me discounts, but gives me 5% in-store-credit on my purchase when I spend at least $10. That isn’t much, but at a place where nearly everything there is less than a dollar, that is quite a useful bonus.

So yeah, if it’s at least a few years old, I can generally find it at Book-Off. I’ve found CDs at Book-Off in the five-dollar range that I had previously paid a good deal of money for back in America. Seriously, this is the best way to buy anything Japan-related. Because of my relationship to Book-Off, I have only paid full price for a few of the books I’ve bought, the highest-priced one being a mere $17 or so.

And because Book-Off is so cheap, I’ve been able to create my own little mini-library in my room for a very small amount of money. I can easily boast over one hundred CDs and over one hundred books, all purchased on Japanese soil. Granted, that is quite a bit of money, but for what I got, it’s very much worth it. As anyone who imports CDs from Japan (Erik) knows, CDs usually cost the better part of $20 a piece, and DVDs can actually go as high as $80. Shipping is also brutal because that’s another $20-30 if you want it in the next week or two. Taking that into account, I’ve been shopping pretty well, I’d say.

So yeah, Book-Off is the King over here, though I think that unfortunately Book-Off is only a Tokyo (東京)-based chain. Holly says they have “Book-Half” out in Kushiro (釧路), but based on her description, it’s not nearly as cool or helpful as Book-Off. This is another reason why if you are plan to come to Japan and buying stuff is a big part of your trip, you should definitely come to Tokyo.

Small update...

2005-11-24T21:42:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone...

Just a few updates. I have four or five looooong entries I have planned to write, but I don't have time to do them now, since it's midterm season over here. I plan to write some of them out this weekend, so hopefully I can update them when I get to school on Monday (aside from having a chapter test to study for...). Also, the comments ARE WORKING. Thanks to everyone who posted. As for my pictures, they are unfortunately on hold for awhile. As I've told some, I have at least 200 pictures that need to be uploaded, but I really just can't do it anymore. Once I move to the dorms next semester, I'll have pseudo-internet, so I'll be able to do it then easily. However, I'll have probably a bazillion more pictures by then since that will include my Kyoto/Kushiro vacation. Once I upload more pictures, I'll let you all know here. That way, you don't have to keep checking the pictures link. Also, if you are blogging, and you want me to link to you (in the column that says "quiet reflection" and "nullspace"), give me your blog address and I'd be happy to add it!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Kankokujin (韓国人) II

2005-11-17T20:46:00.000-05:00

So, last night we (Jin-fun-san, Uni-san, Kensei-san, Lisa, and myself) went back to the pork place called Don-chan (どんちゃん) in Shin-Okubo (新大久保). It was a lot of fun and basically the same meal as last week, but I got a lot more pictures this time. Lots of fun conversation ensued, especially when Uni-san asked me if I knew any other languages and when I replied that I used to be somewhat fluent at Spanish, she asked how to say, "I love you." (This part is for Dad.)

So I replied, "Te quiero." So she went on to say, "Kensei-san, te quiero. Lisa-san, te quiero. Joe-san, te quiero. Koibito (恋人, Japanese for "my lover" or "person I am dating"), te quiero. Jin-fun-san, te quiero... ...nai!" (-nai is the usual way to negate things in Japanese). Hilarity ensued. It was probably one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time.

So while we were there, I had two ringo-sawas (りんごさーわ) which are basically like malt beverages with apple taste and alcohol. They were actually quite good with the pork that we had, so all was well. Everything was lots of fun, and we got to see Jin-fun-san do his famous cooking again. Pictures will follow in time, I promise. I took quite a few this time.

Oh, by the way, I know it's not Chianti, but I highly recommend the new 2005 Beaujolais Noveau. We bought a bottle when I came home the other night, and, though I'm not sure if it's superior to the 2003 Beaujolais Noveau, but it is clearly superior to the 2004 in every way. Since it just came out, well, barely two days ago, I'm sure you all will have ample opportunities to check it out.

Kankokujin (韓国人)

2005-11-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

So here's another update (since I find myself with some time). This one has to do with my class make-up and some friends I've made while being here.

So, they take all the incoming American students (which are no more than say 30) and split them up amongst several classes here. They don't tell you that there are some 700 students at the school, and the minority is Americans (though many Americans tend to stay here for more than one semester, so there are maybe 50 of us here now). Then, when they make up the classes, there are no more than three Americans per class. There are several Chinese people in the class, and over half of each class is South Korean (Kankokujin / 韓国人). This adds an element of fun because if you're not in a Language Level 1 class (I'm in Level 2), the teachers don't speak English, and neither do a majority of students in the class. I don't speak Chinese or Korean either, so if I ever have to speak with any of my classmates (aside from Lisa, the only other American in my class), then I have to use Japanese. That is actually kind of cool. The other thing is that the teachers rotate, so I have the same teacher only twice a week.

So, anyway, I've made several friends in my classes so far. We actually went out to eat for Korean food after Undokai (運動会) with most of my class, and our teacher that day, Miyashita-sensei. However, the week after, one of the Koreans whom I've gotten to know pretty well asked me to go to dinner with his friends the following week. (For those who are counting, this was Thursday of last week.) So, before I knew it, it was me, Lisa, Jin-fun-san (M, Korean, pronounced jin-foon), Uni-san (F, Korean), and Kensei-san (F, Chinese) all out to dinner again. (Note: I don't know how to spell their names in American letters; this is my guess from katakana.)

When we went out after Undokai, we apparently went to the place where Uni-san has her part-time job, so last week we went to Jin-fun-san's part time job, which was basically a pork place. You get lots of pork cuts (that are shaped like bacon, only thicker) and each table has a mini grill, where those cuts are cooked. Then, as they are cooked, you cut them with scissors so they are bite-sized (and in Asia, bite-size is much larger than bite-size in America). Anyway, the idea is that you take a lettuce leaf, then you take your piece of pork, dip it in a peanut sauce, put it on the lettuce leaf, add rice, add crazy Korean spicy things, wrap it all up in the lettuce leaf and stick it in your mouth whole. No, you are not allowed to take bites. You have to take it whole. Yeah. It was fun though. Everyone knows I like pork. I just have to get used to spices.

So, the reason I decided to comment on this is because the five of us are going out again tonight, though not to the same place, though probably still in Shin-Okubo (Tokyo's Korea-town). The other thing is that next Thursday is Uni-san's birthday, so I'm not sure what sort of craziness will ensue after that.

(For anyone who got confused with the names, I have pictures of all of us that are going to be uploaded once I get around to it. Maybe this weekend sometime. It will be a lot easier to upload pictures after January, since I'll be moving to a dorm with some kind of internet. However, if I wait til then, I may have some thousand to upload. I'm already behind some two hundred pictures... I figure that it's better to try to stay up-to-date here though.)

Anime

2005-11-15T20:50:00.000-05:00

(So, I know most of the people who read this aren't going to really know what I'm referring to, but most of my friends should get a kick out of this.)

So, out of all of you reading this, I have a question to ask. Have any of you ever been in an anime (アニメ)? I somehow doubt it. However, recently, I was much closer to being in an anime than anyone I know of. For those of you who watch Azumanga Daioh (アズマンガ大王), you will probably recall the Undokai/School Sports Day (運動会) episode. In that episode, the gang has to do all kinds of things, from a tug-of-war to all sorts of relay races, including one with a scavenger hunt (where Osaka finds the glasses and puts them on) and one where you have to throw a ball into a very high hoop (Chiyo-chan) before proceeding.

So, we actually had Undokai at my school earlier this month. It was exactly the same. Like exactly. We did all the same events (I did the tug-of-war) and everything. We even did the crazy Japanese dances afterward, like they do in the anime. It was insane. Luckily, there was no Kimura-sensei to dance with.

The scariest thing about the entire Undokai experience though was the music. First, they played the song from the Undokai episode of the anime on loop for a short while. That was scary. Then, it was even scarier when they switched to one of the Dragonball themes: a techno remix of Cha-La-Head-Cha-La. Yeah. Scary. Then, once they decided that it had been on loop enough, the third (and final) song to be played on loop was, of all things, Numa Numa. Yes. The Numa Numa dance. I was singing along and all of the Chinese and Koreans around me were all thinking, "How does he know this song? It's not in English or Japanese..." (Yes, I believe it's in Romanian...).

So yeah. Undokai is scary. We apparently may have another one in Spring, or so I am told. I did take Undokai pictures, but uploading pictures takes an extremely long time, hence the lack of updates. Also, while I'm talking about updates, for those who haven't read my past posts, I fixed it so that you can comment. Please feel free to do so.

As a final note for scariness, one of my teachers (Konno-sensei), resembles Yukari-sensei not in looks or driving techniques, but in her attitude and her supposed (ie: not yet confirmed by me) love for osake / alcohol (お酒). As much as I hate to admit this, there was one time I forgot to do an assignment and she gave me a Yukari-sensei 「ヘエエエエエエエエー」 (which is basically the equivalent of "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!" ), and in Yukari-sensei's voice too. Yeah. Scary.

Music

2005-11-07T21:19:00.000-05:00

I know I'm a bit ahead of myself, posting something current like this in the middle of having to update for the last three weeks' worth of events. However, for those who might be interested in my musical tastes, here's my recent top songs in the category of "Songs That I Just Can't Manage to Take Off of Repeat" (obviously number one being the strongest). If anyone else who is blogging wants to do the same thing with their musical tastes, go for it! Also, just to be fair, I chose only one song per artist.

15 - Unite! (Euro-Power Mix) / Hamasaki Ayumi
14 - Non-Stop Megamix / TWO-MIX
13 - Body Feels Exit (X-Tend Mix) / Amuro Namie
12 - I Want to Be Your Sperstar / Dance Infinity
11 - Tear's Liberation (Time Shuffle Re-Sync Style) / access
10 - Jounetsu Ballad (Y & Co. Remix) / Kotani Kinya
09 - Midnight Crow / Lucifer
08 - Bara wa Utsukushiku Chiru (Riyoko Ikeda Version) / Lareine
07 - All Night Long (Extended Mix) / Suzuki Ami
06 - Dogfight / Move
05 - Carol's Theme / TM Network
04 - Crystal Game / Lazy Knack
03 - Fate Weather (KH-R Jr Speed King VrS) / Iceman
02 - Traveler / Abe Fuyumi
01 - Taiyo no Gravity (Y & Co. Remix) / Fayray

Yes, Erik (if you're reading this), I never thought that my number one song would be Fayray, nor did I ever think that she'd be able to top Dogfight (which became my number 01 on this list shortly before getting to Japan). I never knew Fayray's music very well, and I still don't, but this mix really is amazing. Also, I realize that a fair amount of this list is DA Produce. To that I say, so what? I have a newfound respect for the guy. Maybe more on that later.

For those who were expecting to see songs and artists that you recognize, you should know me better than that.

Also, some of these songs have "eye-opening moment" stories to go along with them. I'll get those posted in time... don't worry.

Japanophilia

2005-11-07T01:11:00.000-05:00

So, some of the people who read this blog are card-carrying Japanophiles like myself. Before I let any more time pass by, I must let you all know one thing. If you have any reasons at all (no matter how small) to go to Japan aside from learning the language (ie: to buy stuff, go to concerts, etc.) you should definitely go to Tokyo or another big city (unless you really cannot deal with crowds). Tokyo is big, and I'm really not one for big cities at all, but I like it just fine because it is truly the land of opportunity. It is also a paradise for even the slightest Japanophile. I'm sure people like Erik are thinking, "Yeah. I already knew that," but still, I just thought I'd elaborate. I have come to this conclusion because I'm not the only person that I know in Japan now. Let's just say that based on what I've heard from them, teaching English in Japan--though it's a decent way to get there, and the pay is fairly good--doesn't do a lot for placing you in useful locations where you have the opportuinties to do things. If I had gone with JET or NOVA or GEOS, I certainly wouldn't be in Tokyo, and I wouldn't have anywhere near the opportunity that I do now. And even though I'm (read: my parents are) paying for me to be in Tokyo ('cause it's normal study abroad), it's well worth it for what I've experienced in just this month alone. And I haven't done one thing on my big list of stuff to do* yet! So yeah.

*: The "big list of stuff to do" means experiencing major things like going to Tokyo Tower or Ueno Park or Seimei Jinja. I don't count things to buy as being on that list, even though Carol was really that important.

Carol

2005-11-07T01:09:00.000-05:00

The first real eye-opening moment I had was at a bookstore actually, my first week in Japan. I happened to be looking for some fictions by a good author, Yumemakura Baku, but was really in the wrong section of the bookstore without realizing it (because my reading skills aren't food enough yet to read most section signs in bookstores). However, a certain book suddenly jumped out at me. The title on the spine was written in Roman letters. CAROL.

For those who don't know, this book means a lot to me. I've never read it and it's probably not that amazing. From what I can tell, it's basically a slightly different retelling of Alice and Wonderland. However, like I said, this book means a lot to me. Why? Well, in 1988, there was a band in Japan called TM Network, and they were very popular. That year, their guitarist, Kine Naoto, decided to write a novel called Carol (yes, this same book I am talking about). To help Kine's sales, the band released an album called Carol. They also did a Carol tour and a few other things to promote Carol. The last thing they did that I can tell was a drama CD (basically a short audiobook) for Carol. However, on that drama CD, they had Carol's Theme sung by a singer near and dear to my heart named Takayama Minami. I found her version of the song about four ago and it compelled me to find out everything I could about Carol, including the novel. I asked several friends in Japan to try to track down the novel for me, but to no avail. Last year, I was finally able to download TM Network's Carol album, but that was about as far as I had come. Before I left for this trip to Japan, I had vowed to myself in private that I would not return to America without that book. So yeah, the book means a lot to me. I already decided that if I ever become a translator like I still want to, this is the first book that I am going to translate.

However, at that point, the book was staring me in the face. I remember thinking, "Is this a mirage? Is it real? If it is real, is it fate? Is it coincidence?" I took it off the shelf and held it carefully in both hands like it was some valuable glass vase or something. Then I chanced to examine the price tag. Keep in mind, this is an item that I have been looking for voraciously for the past four years and would have probably killed someone just to be able to touch it, let alone own it. So I look at the price tag. 105 yen. My brain exploded inside my head, and I fell to my knees in the bookstore with tears welling up in my eyes.

For those who don't know, 105 yen is less than a dollar. Like 98 cents. I was so happy I couldn't even contain myself. On the long commute home, I was holding the book like a newborn child, all the while humming Carol's Theme from the TM Network CD, tears still welling up in my eyes. I didn't care that I wouldn't be able to read the book for another year or so. I was just happy that I finally tracked the damn thing down.

And as far as Carol is concerned, I'm almost done. I have the Carol Tour Book, the Carol anime artbook (yes, they made an anime), the TM Network CD, the drama CD I alluded to before (which was another eye-opening moment in itself), and Asakura Daisuke's first CD which contains an instrumental remix of Carol's Theme. All I'm missing now is the actual anime (11/18 edit: nevermind; I just bought it...), the Carol single CD, the Carol tour video (if it even exists), and the necklace, which I would love to have someday.

It's kind of wierd wanting to possess things that you know little about. I do it very often, but don't really realize it. Like I said before, aside from the bare basics, I have no idea what Carol is about. I just want to collect it because I heard a song. Truly strange I'd think, though Rudi would disagree, I imagine. Then again, I want to make a video game just because I played through Final Fantasy, and I want to spend the better part of my life studing a mystic who has been dead for a millenium just because I saw a movie about him. Maybe these sorts of connections are the bonds that hold my future together? I don't really want to think too hard about that.

Philosophy

2005-11-07T01:08:00.000-05:00

So, there's a certain philosophy I've come to live by recently. Some of you already know (Yes, you, Mr. Snow.), and some of you don't yet. It's part Gurdjieff and part Buddhism and part Joe as well. Anyway, the amalgamation of all three of those parts tends to go something like this (I didn't want to use a Matrix analogy, but that's really the best way to get the point across):

Life is like living in the Matrix. There is a real world and a fake world. Everyone lives in the fake world without realizing it until their eyes are opened and they can finally see the falseness of the world they live in. However, that is very difficult to do for many people. And once your eyes are opened, it becomes very tempting to close them, so you have to find something special every day that reminds you to keep your eyes open and live in the real world. Usually the distinction becomes "people who are sleeping" versus "people who are awake."

Since adopting this philosophy, I have always thought--not to brag, of course--that I've been awake. It is mostly due to the fact that I see so many sleeping people around me everyday. College really opened my eyes in several ways, and I like to think that I've stayed awake since then, but Japan has done more for my awakeness than I can possibly say. I'm awake enough for the entire country I think. I'm almost so awake that it hurts.

The reason that I bring this up is that I've come across countless "eye-opening moments" while I've been here and I have the feeling that this blog is going to begin to focus on those as well as my observations while I am in Japan. The following blog entry (even though it's listed above this one) was the first of my "eye-opening moments."

By the way, if a lot of people are interested in hearing more about the awake/asleep thing, let me know and I'll elaborate. I'll even try to diagnose you if you like. Let me know!

Update

2005-11-07T01:05:00.000-05:00

So, I'm sorry about not updating recently. My school's internet was down this week, so I had severely limited access. Hopefully that won't happen again. Also, some people have been asking about commenting on the blog, and I'm trying something new, so try commenting if you like. Thanks for your patience!

Anyway, for those counting, I've spent exactly a month here as of today, so about eight more to go. Got a lot of updates I want to do this week, so keep checking faithfully! Oh, also, if any of you have ideas for things you would like me to talk about on the blog, please don't hesitate to let me know. I tend to overlook the mundanities that everyone wants to hear about (what I've been eating, how my host family is, etc.).

Faith

2005-10-18T22:33:00.000-04:00

OK - Who here saw "The Last Samurai?" Most people, I'd think. If you recall the last few lines of the movie for a moment, they went something like this: "Whatever happened to the American captain? Some say he died of his wounds. Others say that he returned to his own country. But I like to think that he finally found a bit of peace that he could call his own."

Keeping that in mind, I live in a small town (Seya) which is part of a big city (Yokohama) which is part of a big prefecture (Kanagawa) which is just outside Tokyo. Seya is a great place and I like it a lot. It's very peaceful and quiet and has nice scenery and nice people. It's the kind of place one might like to move post-retirement. You might say it's a "bit of peace that [I can] finally call my own." I know that's kind of pompous of me, to treat Seya like it is my own, but on some level, from my point of view, it is. And I care for this place.

However, this week, I chanced to meet two people who were (from a certain point of view) fouling up this nice peace that I had found. They were Americans, of course. Mormon missionaries, they said. That was just what I needed. They are trying to convince a people (the majority of whom do not believe in even a single God) that Mormonism is right for them.

(Before you continue reading, I just want to say that in writing this, I mean no offense to the Mormon religion or anyone affiliated with it. These were just my thoughts at the time, and are chronicled as such.)

Switching gears for a minute, the Japanese have an immensely rich cultural background when it comes to religion. For those who don't know, first there is Shintoism, the native (polytheistic) religion of the Japanese, still practiced in high numbers today. There are also several sects of Buddhism, which was initially brought over from China with Taoism between the fourth and seventh centuries. Though Taoism isn't too big here, Buddhism is, and the sects that are practiced here are Japan-specific. That is, to say, I don't know anywhere else where Rinzai, Shingon, Shugendo, Pure-Land, or Tendai Buddhism is practiced. (Zen is so popular now in America, I can't be sure.) So that's three religions. Catholicism also came over here a long time ago and was popular for awhile, though not nearly as popular as Shintoism or Buddhism. There are also lesser known Japanese-native religions (hint - onmyodo!) that exist. My point is this: Japan has such a variety of options that are not only rich in imagery and composed of a variety of ideas, but that all of these religions have withstood the test of time. All of them were started over two millenia ago.

With such great traditions to choose from, why would they need something like Mormonism? I mean, someone please tell me if there's something I'm missing. I mean, I am a pretty well-versed man when it comes to religion. I know about the whole Joseph Smith thing and that they believe that Jesus came to America when he was finished in Jerusalem (yes, post-Ressurrection). I've even been to Hill Cumorah (the place where Mr. Smith supposedly wrote and hid the Book of Mormon and where it was later unearthed) and witnessed the pageant they hold there every year on the origins of their faith.

However, even knowing all of this, I couldn't take it. What makes it worse is that I didn't get the impression that they were speakers of any degree of Japanese. This means that either they are mostly trying to convert people who either cannot understand them, or can barely understand them. This means that even if they did "increase enrollment" at their church, would these people really *believe?* I think not.

Adding insult to injury, their nametags had the word "Elder" before thier last names. Mind you, these people had no more than five years on me, and even men of twenty-seven are by no means "elders" of any kind. It really infuriated me that they would take such a dignified title for themselves, probably just because it sounded good. I'm doing better now, but I really wanted to fly off the handle and sack one of them.

And then, they told me that they had a recently built church nearby and it would be great to see me there. I said "OK" and waved goodbye like the gentleman I am, but I really wanted to say something along the lines of Eddie Izzard's "Well, I'm not from your country...:" "You know... I'm a bit conflicted. I really do like the idea of having multiple wives, but at the same time, I don't believe in your god."

Umbrellas

2005-10-18T22:32:00.000-04:00

Before anyone asks, no I haven't been playing Resident Evil. This topic is about real umbrellas.

For those who don't know, the umbrella has existed for more than a thousand years. I'm not sure exactly about its origins, but I know that the Japanese have been using them for an extremely long time. Though the designs and switches sometimes evolve, the umbrellas general structure and use remain the same -- first, to keep rain from hitting the body from above, and second, to block the rays of the sun on a summer day.

So, one might ask why an umbrella is still an umbrella after over a millenia. The answer is simple. Every Japanese person currently in existence possesses the innate ability to kill a person in one of three-thousand seven hundred and twenty different ways using only an umbrella. No really. It's true.

In my experience this week, it has rained several times. The rain has not been as harsh as upstate New York can get, but it has lasted for awhile. We're about to get a typhoon as well, so that won't help things this week. However, the point is that I've encountered many many people this week that are not only armed with umbrellas, but know how to use them.

I have seen umbrella-equipped people walking down the street and doing all kinds of various things: carrying groceries, carrying babies, eating, drinking, talking, reading, and riding bicycles even! And sometimes more than one of those at a time (mind you, while walking and holding an open umbrella). It's insane! These people really know how to use these things!

Yin and Yang

2005-10-18T22:26:00.000-04:00

OK. We have one element and it is earth. And fire. We have *two* elements and they are earth and fire. And water. We have *three* elements and we call them earth, fire, and water. And wood. OK! Among the elements we have are these: earth, fire, water, and wood. And metal! Nobody expects a Spanish onmyoji reference! (Sorry - I couldn't resist!)

So yeah, this time I'll talk a bit about yin and yang and how I've noticed that they seem to function here. Everyone knows that though yin and yang are opposites, they are both also the same Tao, and there is a little yin in every yang and a little yang in every yin. Yin and yang are also constantly moving and fluctuating every split-second of every minute of every day. However, regardless of how they tend to move, there is always a harmony that exists between the two.

This harmony I can see much better here than in New York. For example, Tokyo is often compared to New York City. I should know, I used to do it myself. Anyway, it is said that Tokyo is like New York City, except more dense and filled with Japanese people instead. To some extent, this is true. However, Tokyo has several things that New York City doesn't.The biggest example I've found is the harmony between nature and civilization. If you take New York City for example, the average house or apartment has a small lawn in front, usually with a tree or two on it and that's basically it. In Tokyo, I find that there is far more nature. Even in Shinjuku, there are bushes and trees and vines and plants of all kinds just creeping out from every corner that they can. I'll post pictures sometime to show you what I mean if I remember. It's just nice to see though as I walk to school. It's not just that there is more greenery either. It's that it looks normal but at the same time wonderful. The average New York lawn I referred to earlier looks normal but also unnatural. This greenery looks like it lives there just as humans live in their homes.

Also, in the middle of a main street in Shinjuku, there are many tall buildings, and between two of them lies a temple. It's about as close to them as it can possibly be, but at the same time, it isn't cheapened by the fact that the buildings are right there. The temple still maintains it's air of mystery and tranquility, again with plants and greenery everywhere amidst the numerous statues that also surround it.

It's very strange, but at the same time cool that this city, though one of the most technologically advanced cities in the world maintains this balance. Mind you, this balance does not exist everywhere. I'm certain there are parts of Tokyo that look just like downtown New York City, but not having witnessed that, it can't possibly be part of my observation can it?

Change

2005-10-11T23:44:00.000-04:00

After spending three years at the University of Rochester studying Japanese language and culture, I came to the conclusion that of all the things in the world, there is only one real constant and that is change. Everything in life is fleeting and transient, and that (as some of you may know) is the topic of many major works in Japanese literature, namely "Genji monogatari" and "Heike monogatari." Even newer Japanese works like Kikuchi Hideyuki's "Vampire Hunter D" touch on the topic of transience and impermanence.

I used to think that death was also a costant of this world. I used to call death and change the only two immortals that existed. As shown through literature, even 'immortal' gods can die, and no one knows if death itself can die, hence death's immortality. Also, since there is no way for any being to permanently evade death, it is even more so an immortal. However, in my Death, Dying, and Beyond class, I eventually came to the decision (and wrote about it) that someday death may die. The two basically are fighting. If death kills change then death is the one true immortal, but if change is truly immortal, it will have to change the way death works, or even the fact that death exists. For now, I'm hoping for the latter.

Anyway, after many years of thinking that change was the only thing that won't ever change, I realized that there is actually one true immortal that was unaccounted for. That is the fact that airline food will always taste horribly. Their green tea was ok (Is it possible to make bad green tea?), but I can't now nor will I ever be able to stomach enough airline food to get me through a sixteen-hour trip. It really was awful. If first-class riders get a better meal, that is definitely a good reason to stop getting seats in coach! Oh well. If I did it once, I suppose I can do it again... .

Welcome!

2005-10-11T23:41:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog! I just thought I'd give a brief foreward before I actually posted any entries. First of all, if you're at this webpage, you know who I am and most likely know about my morbid fascination with all things Japan.

Here's the update: after just about four years of interest, I am finally here. I am currently studying abroad from October to June in Tokyo and taking classes here. My host family lives in Seya, a small part of Yokohama. It is very nice and I am having a lot of fun. Oh - something else to be noted is that I don't have internet access often at all, so I will write these on my laptop and post a few at a time when I get the chance. The same goes for the pictures. So, if you notice a lack of updates (or responses to e-mails), just be patient, and I'll take care of it eventually.

Anyway, until I return, enjoy my writings. Unfortunately, due to spammers, I had to disable comments. E-mail me if you like what you read.